AUDIOPOST BY PRISMA TBFKA MUSEUM:
Drowning Tuesday, May 12, 2009
...just letting myself drown in a flood of confused emotions, daydreaming with music in my head, as usual. Nothing new under this mid spring sun.
Walking in the same old streets that I know so well, I can't stop my mind. Thoughts keep flowing, without control. I can't resist to their strenght. Oh, how I'd wish to have a mind recorder to keep them all, as a permanent memory of what I am, each second of my life.
It's maybe the only thing I really let go, without opposing any resistance. All of my life I've been controlling myself any single moment.
No, that's wrong. Not all of my life. I once used to be a rebel, self confident little child. Even too selfish, sometimes.
One day something changed for good. One day I've become the unsure but strong young woman I am now. Slowly, something I can barely call a monster started growing inside my stomach. And so we now cohabit in the same body. The monster and me.
We never talk to eachother, I neither would.
I just know I can't lose control. Never. Lose it and you're dead, says the monster! That's the lesson I've learned from him, when all of a sudden everything around me crashed down to the ground and I found myself completely naked in front of the plain truth: I was alone and had to grow quickly, much before than all the others should.
...to be continued...
Soundtrack: Coloursound - All Kinds Of Wonderful
Walking in the same old streets that I know so well, I can't stop my mind. Thoughts keep flowing, without control. I can't resist to their strenght. Oh, how I'd wish to have a mind recorder to keep them all, as a permanent memory of what I am, each second of my life.
It's maybe the only thing I really let go, without opposing any resistance. All of my life I've been controlling myself any single moment.
No, that's wrong. Not all of my life. I once used to be a rebel, self confident little child. Even too selfish, sometimes.
One day something changed for good. One day I've become the unsure but strong young woman I am now. Slowly, something I can barely call a monster started growing inside my stomach. And so we now cohabit in the same body. The monster and me.
We never talk to eachother, I neither would.
I just know I can't lose control. Never. Lose it and you're dead, says the monster! That's the lesson I've learned from him, when all of a sudden everything around me crashed down to the ground and I found myself completely naked in front of the plain truth: I was alone and had to grow quickly, much before than all the others should.
...to be continued...
Soundtrack: Coloursound - All Kinds Of Wonderful
Crash Boom Bang Monday, May 11, 2009
While I was walking along the beach today, three simple words suddenly came up to my mind... Words I had forgotten, words I had held deep inside of me for a long time, completely unaware of them.
Crash, Boom, Bang.
What the hell means that? I couldn't easily remember at that very moment where these words were coming from. Only a few hours later I got it! It was a song I used to listen to, many years ago. I had completely erased it! It has been a real pleasure to rediscover it. I now only ask myself: why now? What kind of message hides behind this song?
Bottles Floating On The Edge Monday, May 11, 2009
Just looking if there's someone out there. Just feeling strange, trying to fill a void vomiting words in another language. Just testing if the stream-of-consciousness also works in my not-mother-tongue.
Just beg your pardon if I make mistakes, you know, I'm not used to write in english. But I'll try.
Why am I doing it? Don't really know, but sometimes thoughts in english just come up to my mind and I simply let them flow. Never wrote them down before. Not a single word.
But, why not? Let's see what my stupid mind has to say to the world. Maybe something interesting, maybe not. Why should I bother? Just let my fucking bottles float on the edge... of life!
Just beg your pardon if I make mistakes, you know, I'm not used to write in english. But I'll try.
Why am I doing it? Don't really know, but sometimes thoughts in english just come up to my mind and I simply let them flow. Never wrote them down before. Not a single word.
But, why not? Let's see what my stupid mind has to say to the world. Maybe something interesting, maybe not. Why should I bother? Just let my fucking bottles float on the edge... of life!
