Drowning

...just letting myself drown in a flood of confused emotions, daydreaming with music in my head, as usual. Nothing new under this mid spring sun.
Walking in the same old streets that I know so well, I can't stop my mind. Thoughts keep flowing, without control. I can't resist to their strenght. Oh, how I'd wish to have a mind recorder to keep them all, as a permanent memory of what I am, each second of my life.
It's maybe the only thing I really let go, without opposing any resistance. All of my life I've been controlling myself any single moment.
No, that's wrong. Not all of my life. I once used to be a rebel, self confident little child. Even too selfish, sometimes.
One day something changed for good. One day I've become the unsure but strong young woman I am now. Slowly, something I can barely call a monster started growing inside my stomach. And so we now cohabit in the same body. The monster and me.
We never talk to eachother, I neither would.
I just know I can't lose control. Never. Lose it and you're dead, says the monster! That's the lesson I've learned from him, when
all of a sudden everything around me crashed down to the ground and I found myself completely naked in front of the plain truth: I was alone and had to grow quickly, much before than all the others should.

...to be continued...

Soundtrack: Coloursound - All Kinds Of Wonderful



2 answers:

Mio said...

I don't understand the meaning of life, but I think that it is something that "we" have to put in batter every day. Sometimes we do it with awareness other times, unfortunately, "we" do it without get to know it, there born the problems. This think could drive crazy if we lose control, this think is the only way that bring anyone to put in better ourself with pains often with pleasure sometimes.

This is the life of "bottles floating on the edge of life" (wonderful!), with the fear of nothing and monsters on one side and with unknown on the other. The same unknown that have had create the people that "we" are now.
have a nice week-end Museum!

Roberto

PS: for me write in this foreign language is very strange. I have asked to myself if you could understand me (maybe batter than in Italian :) ) I hope so. At the same time I am sure that I understand your toughs touches me.
It is strange feeling but is normal when the people who write is a writer like you.

Prisma "TBFKA MusEum" said...

Thanks for your words and for stopping by, once again.
No problem about your english. You'll emprove it, I'm sure of this ;)

Thanks for calling me a "writer"! Really proud and happy about it! :D