Miss You

I cannot deny my rage for all of this pain we might be a shelter for. 
I do not dare to confess I am going crazy about all of this mess. 
If we could share our days, that could be the best pleasure our hearts need to overcome those fears. 
But time is never enough, all I can reach is this mute epitaph.

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Soundtrack: Epitaph - King Crimson

Hold On

As an Angel watching over me while I'm far away, my Soul lifts high while my feet never leave the ground as I walk this earth in silent admiration, with inner devotion. Making love on higher levels, seagulls flying all over my head, the smell of the Adriatic sea reaching my skin, I cherish these very moments of tenderness like unexpected gifts from outer space. 

Thank you for being there when I needed you most. Delicacy, is your invisible hand holding mine, your transparent arm around my shoulder, your silent words to remind me: Girl, you just go out and get it! You were born to make it.

Guess what? I daydreamt of an old woman, resting her head upon an old man's shoulder, feeling completely safe and thinking: "Oh gosh, how come we missed all those years, it's such a waste?". But soon afterwards, another thought passed through her mind as she realized: "No, we needed all this time to finally get ready for this. Before, just wouldn't have been possible."

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Soundtrack: Morning Has Broken - Cat Stevens

Floating Darkness

Darkness floats, it just comes back, like (un)expected waves you shouldn't be surprised to see again. 

Day by day you strive, to survive, admiring(envying) others' people easiness in life. 

Only you can save you. The tricks that your mind plays shock you. 

You have become better at recognizing them and counter them with actions, but not enough. 

It's still tough. 

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Soundtrack: Needle In The Hay - Melissa Laveaux

Pale Turns Red

The ways I think of you never cease to surprise me. The thought of you can tease me unexpectedly, but sometimes it's me who gives the start, following the "call". I love to feel you near, to walk side by side to your soul, to feel connected in a matter of invisible, yet inevitable, quantum particles who are just following their own inborn logic. I've seen the infinite abyss and I know you've seen it, too. 

At times I wonder what you would say about something, what is making your eyes sparkle, which views, which music, which words, which people are making you feel alive. Are you ever asking yourself the same? 

Today I lit up candles and let water dance with my desire. Gently, emotions turned into pale steam, steam then suddenly turned red, like my mind had been uncovered. How were you as a child? What scared you, what made you happy and feel loved? Did you try to be loved so hard, too? 

Did loneliness trace circles on your soul like music on a vynil? Could we have been friends as kids? Do you think the two of us would have matched and turned that loneliness into a source of shared discovery and treasure? 

How are you now as a grown adult? What does your body look like? Do you feel at ease when you look at yourself in the mirror? Or do you wish you were someone else, like I've been hoping for a long time, too? 

Can you see the Beauty within you? Or do you still wish to go away and quit? Can you hear me whisper... "Stay"? 

Anytime I put a record on, I can't help but see the both of us connect just like a plug with electricity. No matter how far we go, how distant we travel, there's a string so imperceptible that no one else can see, reminding us we are such stuff as dreams are made on. And I know, we shall not part.

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Soundtrack: Goodnight Songs

How Would You Call Me?

I love you. I've always loved you. And I always will. I don't want to turn this thing we have into another kind of weird fantasy and ruin it. I wanna keep this energy alive. Cosmic and pure. I want to become the words I only dare write not whisper. I want to touch you with my eyes open, not while I desperately stare inside myself in search for something that has once fallen apart and that I can't seem to build back. 

Try to love yourself, she said. If you fail, that's just part of the exercise. It's not a mistake, it's a trial. You happen to learn by trials. But what, I say, if I don't want to love me? The hardest I try, won't matter if I don't really want. I will never succeed. Sometimes, through my loneliest steps and countless procrastinations, I wonder... How would you call me? What would your voice sound like? Do you ever sing along your favourite tune? Would I like it? 

I should close my eyes now and just try to figure out what my deepness looks like. Touch it. Feel it. Looking for the exstasy beyond fear and only imagined evil. Let my mind go for a walk through landscapes of pleasure and inspirational desire. Should I go with you? Or leave you in peace and keep you in the safe garden of separation and only rational connection? 

Just lay beside you, while we stare at each other in kindness, deep into our very eyes, not a single word to tell what is all too clear to see. Two souls longing for a handful of mixed emotions to fill the empty space inside their physical bodies, sharing the load, in silence, with someone who truly, fully understands, without explanations. 

Regardless of time, regardless of goals. Two souls, two halves of the same spirit, meant to get together, one day.

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Deny Not Anima

If only I could be a neuron in your brain 
ignited by your thoughts,
incarnated in your hands,
I would dance in your synapsis
curly like a spiral,
delighted by your feelings. 

Holy crazy souls 
feeling never alone,
stony in our worlds.

Pure connections 
electric imperfections 
stormy stops and motions 
like karma and reincarnation. 


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Soundtrack: Carry On Phenomenon - Kishi Bashi

Back In The Days

Memories awake, tenderness gone wild. So happy to know you're still alive.
Keep that in mind, your existence makes me kind!
Wherever we are, whenever we feel like it, we now know how to make our two ends meet. Never doubt it.


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